Too Complex to Read?

Too Complex to Read?

I hear this all the time at work:

:: When you re-read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before ::
Are Classics too complex for modern audiences?» Zitona « / Foter.com / CC BY

Nobody is going to read all of this.

Obviously, when reading a novel, it’s different than reading on the web. Don’t ask me why, but somebody, somewhere, will read that 500,000 word trilogy. But even then, you hear things like “kill your darlings,” suggesting that any beautiful prose has no place in commercial fiction. Nobody likes the well-turned phrase. Nobody likes slipping vocabulary through their fingers like fine wine (nobody likes mixed metaphors, incidentally). The bottom line: Nobody reads anymore.

I’m going to call into question two assumptions:

  1. Is this true?
  1. If it is true, should we eliminate as many words as possible and encourage even more non-readers?

1. Is it true that nobody reads anymore?

Just look at the struggling book sales, while every year since Titanic a new movie topples the top-grossing list. We don’t need to read – there’s an app for that. We’d rather skip all the text and flip for pictures, which our exceedingly short attention spans are more apt to contemplate.

Truthtime. I will look over the spine of a book or the length of a blog or article online to see how long it is before I delve in. I want to gauge how much of my time and energy will need to go into it. But I will still read it, especially if the opening paragraphs are fun, flirty, metaphorical – above all, I am looking for content quality, not how long or complex the piece is. That means good writing can be long or short.

True, we scan webpages, and only (on average) read about 20% of the words on a webpage. But does this mean we’re not really reading anything?

Then why do we even have blogs? Why is there more free reading content than ever, with ebooks topping Amazon charts? Why does content go viral just as often as videos do (if not moreso)? Why is the vast majority of web content text-based as opposed to any other form of media?

So I’m curious to know – How much do you read on the web? And for that matter, what sort of stories do you read in print?

2. If nobody reads anymore, should we placate them?

Writers must consider their audience. The way we read is rapidly changing, as it has been since the invention of smartphones computers movies typewriters printing press books the written language. I’m not a Luddite (I just got my first smartphone!). We need to get with the times if we’re going to compete in today’s market.

But is something essential being lost if we cater completely to the market?

I actually saw these on the guidelines for submitting to an online blog:

  • “Use plain language;”
  • “Bullets, numbered lists, subheads, etc. are encouraged to break up text for readability;”
  • “Don’t require users to read long continuous blocks of text;”
  • “Limit use of metaphors…Users might take you literally;”
  • “…complex words are even harder to understand online.”

And a lot of the same guidelines showed up on a self-publishing platform one of my clients was using.

See a pattern here?

I am not saying that we should force the reader to endure a terrible experience. But can people really not understand metaphors or complex words? And if not – is it our fault?

I happen to love a good turn of the phrase. Wit turns me on. The occasional complex thought can brighten even the dullest of plot-holey novels – and dull, plot-holey novels have no place in my bookshelf.

There’s this great debate in the literary world. I’ll touch on it only briefly. This debate is called Literary vs. Genre writing, and it stems back since before Cain and Abel fell out of touch.

I am a fantasy author, which is about as ‘genre’ as it gets. And genre writing caters to the market: readers’ increasingly low attention spans. We have to be clear, above all. We have to be concise. We have to follow a logical narrative arc.

But I also write and love to read literary short stories and poetry. Literary is all about word choice, which makes me salivate. It doesn’t have to be clear all the time, and I’m okay with that. I like to let my mind wander over the words. I love complex ideas that make sense – but I don’t always want to make sense of it.

Good writing can be complex or simple. If we lose of one of them, I think that our collective reading experience is in serious trouble.

What do you like to read – epic-length allegories or 140-character quips? I’m guessing, like me, some of you are on the fence. No need to choose sides – let’s sign a treaty and decide just to read, not Books that Are Short or Books that Are Complex, but Books that Are Great.

How Not to NaNo

How Not to NaNo

 

As November fast approaches, there are more than a few things that are going to bar your way from a successful 30 days. Embrace those obstacles and continue to not write using the following excuses:

1. You don’t have time to commit. You have a work/school/social life to worry about. One hour per day, which equals about five minutes for every hour you’re awake, is way too much time to be worried about your craft/hobby. What about all the times you’ve got to check Facebook? What about that rerun of The Office on tonight? You simply must not sacrifice that sacred time to worry over five minutes of writing.

2. You can’t possibly write more than 1,000 words a day when your muse isn’t around. You can’t work under any kind of pressure. You couldn’t write a thousand words if your life depended on it. Why? Because your muse has chosen November to go and abandon you. Under no circumstances must you even look at a blank computer screen or notebook page if you don’t feel inspired.

3. You will only write utter crap. There is no possible way to scrawl anything that is remotely cohesive, comprehensible, or otherwise good in any way under such a time limit. A worthy work of literature is only attainable after a painstaking 20-year span, and those who write so many nauseating words so quickly should be beheaded and staked outside your carefully guarded, elitist fortress.

4. You won’t survive the shame of the community when you fail. Your tender ego isn’t up to the sight of witnessing a measly 10,000 words on your word count bar when the month is up. The NaNo community will ruthlessly mock you for all your shortcomings, and in time you will grow to resent the fact you have ever challenged yourself to write so much. You may even give up your love of writing altogether, and for that you will have your own bruised pride to thank.

Don’t click on this link in order to avoid being convinced to give NaNoWriMo a try this year.

If you need some additional motivation, click here to see how badly I’m doing on my wordcount this month (and make me your writing buddy!).

How to Spoil Books

How to Spoil Books

Spoiler Alert! If you thrive on mystery, you’re not going to like this post. After a delightful experience at a book signing last weekend, here are some quick tips if you plan to ruin a book for everyone.

1. Tell them the climax. When people inevitably ask you what your masterpiece is about, go ahead and tell them. But skip to the juicy parts: “Snape kills Dumbledore*.” Now readers can avoid the whole issue of having to actually read the book.

2. Get them too excited. If a three-star novel gets your juices flowing, tout the novel from here to the hereafter; “It makes Shakespeare look like trashy drivel!” Friends eager to pick up your recommendation will soon be frothing at the mouth with underwhelm. Good – maybe they won’t waste your time with inquiries after your favorite books anymore.

3. Exaggerate. “It’s brutally violent.” “It’s dark and twisted.” “It’s extreme romantic fluff.” Your proclamations will attract those unstable individuals** who thrive on the extremes. Finding the novel is lacking, they will take out their instability on you.

4. Downplay. “It’s alright, I guess.” “I kind of liked it.” “It’s kind of like every other book I’ve read.” Turn them off before they even start and help them save 8 bucks.***

5. Tell them nothing. In answer to “What is the book about?”, your reply should be something like “Well, it’s this girl… actually a guy… who goes on this quest, and… there’s a love interest… and they do stuff… You’d really have to read it to understand.” Zero motivation = Zero results. What do you really care if your friend reads the book, anyway?

Fact: According to a study at UCSD, audiences actually enjoy books more if its contents are spoiled. Apparently, they appreciate the art, or something, more this way, including its nuanced intricacies and even ironic twist endings, if they have the story out of the way. “The plot is almost irrelevant.” So this may be the one case where you actually may want to follow my advice regarding spoilers.

 

*Seriously people, if you don’t have this figured out by now you deserve to have it spoiled for you.

**Like me

***Apparently, this new-fangled technology which some are calling ‘e-readers’ offers books for less than 8 bucks. I don’t approve – but more on that later. 

Why Fantasy Is The Best Genre

Why Fantasy Is The Best Genre

Time to get up on my dusty soapbox.

I hear a lot of fiction genre critics putting on their snark hats to sneer at science fiction/fantasy as though they are lower art forms.

First of all, there is a huge difference between science fiction and fantasy. While science fiction projects and makes guesses at the future, it is about technology and involves grandiose, audacious themes*.

Fantasy is about people.

True, these people live in a nonexistent world, where much of the natural order and many laws of physics are bent. That’s why followers of the genre are criticized for living too much in their own heads, for being out of touch with reality, for being nerds and putting too much priority on fairy tale stories. Read the rest of this entry

How Not to Judge Based on Genre

How Not to Judge Based on Genre

 

Cross-genre novels are confusing. Heck, it’s hard just to understand one genre, let alone more than one. That’s why I’ve compiled a nifty cheat-sheet detailing what each literary genre is about so that you can have a more informed basis from which to ruthlessly mock them.

Science Fiction – Nerds. These are people that sit at a computer all day long, talking in the mysterious coding language of numbers and describing gruesome alien physiologies. That’s why they write science fiction – because they don’t have actual lives.

Memoir – Self-absorbed whiners. Not only do these people have the sappiest sob stories you’ll ever hear, but Read the rest of this entry

Sub-Plot Explosion!

Sub-Plot Explosion!

The character/sub-plot face-off. Photo by Lynn Kelley Author.

Or, Why Supporting Characters Will Make All the Difference

I mentioned this week that I recently had the privilege to attend a webinar and workshop with Paula Munier. She mentioned something that I, at least, have severe trouble with: supporting characters.

To me, supporting characters have always been Superfluous Characters. I’ve never believed they could advance the story in anyway, and have therefore ignored them. In the past, when I have chosen to include these minor minions, they generally make the work seem as though I’m trying to shove too many stories into one.

No longer!

Read more!

Lessons from Bootcamp: How Not to Theme Your Story

Lessons from Bootcamp: How Not to Theme Your Story

Hint: Every theme is ‘love.’ Photo by RebeccaBarray

I attended a webinar last weekend. It was on theme-based plotting, and it was taught by a lovely lady named Paula Munier. From it, I gleaned some essential to-do’s if you want your story to fall flat on every existential or spiritual level. I give them to you as follows:

  1. What is theme anyway? Don’t worry about it. It’s just some fancy-pantsy term that literates made up in order to make you feel stupid. Disregard theme, pretend it doesn’t exist, and continue on writing in blissful, misguided ignorance.
  2. Symbols no more! A gun is just a gun. A puppy is just a puppy (until you kill it off, and then it’s just a dead puppy). Your readers are far too stupid to pick up that recurring moonlight is a symbol of feminine power. Neither will they get that a lion is a symbol of rulership. So don’t even bother considering your symbols. Nobody will make the connections anyway. They’ll just want more gunshots and explosions.
  3. Gunshots and explosions. What makes a good story? As many friggin’ explodey things as you can jam-pack in there. Force your main character to break his neck trying to look first in one direction and then another. So many things are happening, your readers will never be able to keep track of them all! Explosions are a surefire way to make the story stand the test of time.
  4. Only think about theme after the first draft. Do your business and write. All the thinking will come later, when your muse-inspired creative genius has pumped out 200,000 adrenaline-inducing, self-indulgent words. Now you can go back and look at that action and introspection and arbitrarily assign themes to it. “Hmm, themes of man vs. god sounds good,” you mumble to yourself, writing the theme onto your soft-porn romance manuscript*. Done.
  5. Trick your readers. Everyone loves a good mystery, especially if they can’t figure out what the heck the book’s about. Cover up your adolescent theme with turtlenecks and long skirts. Keep them guessing. Don’t ever have characters say what they actually mean or are actually thinking. The last thing you want is for them to uncover hints at the theme early on. Surprise twist endings are a plus: If you have led the reader to believe the story is about ‘love conquers all,’ then shock them at the climax when you reveal that your story is actually about ‘karma is a bitch, and so is revenge.’

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to theme in my latest work-in-progress, so it’ll be nice to have this cheat sheet handy for what not to do.

* Actually, that sounds pretty cool. 

What do you look for in novels? What favorites do you have that expresses a clear theme? Comment or email me!

How to Neglect Your Readership in Favor of Job Opportunities

How to Neglect Your Readership in Favor of Job Opportunities

 

Photo by SarahCartwright

Long time, no see. Considering that I am making money on writing now, I’m sure you’ll forgive me.

The schedule will be changing. By that I mean there will be no fixed posting schedule. I will post when I care to (But I will try to post at least once a week). I’m a loose-cannon wildwoman, and you can’t stop me.

This is for the best, since I will be devoting a little less than half of my time to creative endeavors now in order to sell out to the corporate world*.

After all, your readers aren’t paying you**. Only job opportunities can pay you. Sacrifice your soul for big bags of the green, and you’re all set.

 

* I’m finding that I quite enjoy my newest occupation as company content writer. Please don’t fear for my sanity, as I am pleasantly, finally, sane.

** However, they are paying you in love, which is twice as valuable. For every click you donate to my site, one good-energy vibe will be sent back to you at your preferred address.

How Not to Edit a Novel

How Not to Edit a Novel

Tip: Mark up your manuscript with fancy red pen, and then display it prominently so that it looks like you’ve done something productive. Photo by Nic’s events.

Firstly, I would like to apologize for my negligence on Saturday. I have broken your trust, and do not deserve your forgiveness.

But whether you forgive me or not, here is this week’s post, detailing some techniques I’ve learned to pursue when you wish to miserably fail at editing your novel manuscript.

  1. Don’t do it. Your novel will look a lot fresher after a few years of gathering dust under the bed. As you look upon your masterpiece with new eyes, you will realize that it doesn’t actually need any editing at all. Perfect! It’s ready to send off to inundated agents without a second look back.
  2. Keep every scene. You must have written them for a reason, even if they’re filled with lengthy (but beautiful) flashbacks or backstories. You should especially keep them if: a) they’re from the point of view of a minor, passing character, b) they’re comprised entirely of brooding thoughts similar to the contents of your high school diary, or c) they’re just a little over 20,000 words long and serve to prove your prowess with vocabulary.
  3. Line-edit first. They’re the easiest little grammatical and punctuation edits, so best get them out of the way before major plot and character changes. Even if you end up scrapping half the novel afterward, at least you can rest on the satisfaction of a hundred hours spent tediously picking through your manuscript like an embittered English professor with a red pen and a vendetta. In fact, it’s better that way. If you already have so much line-editing done, you’ll be less likely to delete it afterward (see no. 2).
  4. Ignore workshop critique. If you send your manuscript out to well-wishing readers for critique, you’ve made an important first step in pretending that their opinions matter to you. You should expect them to give you some in-depth analysis which proves only one thing: They are morons. Whatever you do, trash those notes immediately. If you read them, you’ll only end up considering other opinions and becoming more open-minded, which is not conducive to your writing process. You are an artist; you don’t need others infringing on your creativity with practical advice.

As I have taken some of this advice to heart this month while editing my work in progress, I can tell you this first hand. Only follow my instructions if you don’t care about your finished product (or if, like me, you simply believe procrastination is going to get the book done).

People You Shouldn’t Tell Your Ideas To

People You Shouldn’t Tell Your Ideas To

“Oh, you want to tell me about your latest work-in-progress? Please, go on.” Photo credit Sailing “Footprints: Real to Reel” (Ronn ashore).

There are a few people who are close to you and who care about you deeply. They do not read or write and they certainly do not approve of your horror/erotica fan fiction you keep scurrying off to work on. Naturally these are the perfect people to expose your precious, trembling manuscript to. They are as follows:

Mother.* She loves you the most. She raised you. She may or may not have shown a flicker of hesitancy in her eyes when you told her you wanted to be a writer, but that’s beside the point.

“What’s your book about?” she asks, looking at you concernedly as you type feverishly in a corner during the family reunion when you should be out there socializing.

“It’s complicated,” you say, looking up with a wild impulse to finally tell her. “It’s a slasher horror just this side of fantasy with some steampunk elements; I’m using characters from Avatar: The Last Airbender; It’s also kind of an erotica so there’s cross-genre appeal; my MC is being tortured right now; I have to stay up and finish this scene.”

Mother wrings her hands. “Am I going to be ashamed of you when this book comes out?”

Or, “You should write something like Danielle Steele. It worked for her.”

Or, “You’re a weird child. You must get it from your father.”

Writer or not, the Mother always has the answers. She had them when she stayed up all night with you when you had that fever, she had them when she told you just what she thought about your fiancé, and she has them now. Adjust your writing to please her and her conceptions of what a novel should be. That way you won’t embarrass yourself.

Boss and other Coworkers. Your boss will be overjoyed to know that you have chosen him as one of the select few to view the delicate, tender first draft you’ve so painstakingly taken time out of your work day to write. Exclamations such as “You wrote this using company computers?” and “Wow, that’s….” are sure to bely the shock and delight that they have just discovered the next great American novelist.

“Would you like to read the next few chapters?” you eagerly say, leaning far too close into your coworker’s personal space.

“Sure….” she says, wondering how she’s going to get out of it. “If I can find the time.”

She’s only trying to help, of course, but once word gets round to the head honcho that you’ve been writing a novel instead of working, you’re quickly fired.

Which is fine with you, of course. Then you can devote your time wholeheartedly to your work in progress.

Tip: Catch them by surprise. That way they won’t refuse your half-completed work. Photo credit .Bala

Famous Novelist. You go to every nearby Joe Bestseller book signing. When it’s time for you to get his John Hancock

inscribed on his brand-new $30 hardback edition, you know it’s time for a little advertising.

You: “Hey, Mr. Bestseller. I love your work. Did you know that I’m an author too?”

Joe: “Are you?” He hears this all day, of course, but feigns interest as he signs the book.

You: “Yes. I’m sure you’ll love it. It’s fanfiction of your work, but in a post-apocalyptic world where vampires are rampant.”

Joe: “Oh, that’s great.”

You: “Who’s your agent? Do you think you could put in a good word for me? You and me, we could be bestsellers together. Would you like to collaborate with me at some point? How about I send you over a rough draft?”

Joe: “Sure.  You do that. Next.”

Presto. You’ve got yourself an in with the publishing industry.

Significant Other*. When all others wrote you off as a psychopath when you started conversing with yourself in various characters’ voices, your S.O. instead sealed his/her fate by saying that was one of the qualities that endeared you to him/her.

Unfortunately, this also means the S.O. hears your ideas with the most frequency and fervor.

After about two weeks of you seesawing between obsessive, frenzied enthusiasm about your new idea and intense existential crisis/depression as you doubt your worth as a writer, you finally throw in the last straw.

“Did you read my latest chapters? Did you like them?”

Knowing there is no right answer – to tell the truth would be alienation, and to lie would be to break your trust – the S.O.’s answer is a long time coming. Finally he/she says, “I think we should see other people.”

You were right to reconsider your line of work. If not even your S.O. can handle your writing, perhaps it’s time to go into a much safer career, such as dentistry. Fortunately, you had the Significant Other to guide you in the right direction.

* Disclaimer: In all seriousness, I love these people. They are two of my biggest supporters. You only tease the ones you love the most, right? Thank you to Mom and boyfriend and everyone else for putting up with me!

What about you? Do you wear your writing heart on your sleeve? How much do you tell your fans and loved ones about your writing? (Was I too harsh?)